SKOB Masters

AFL Masters is football that allows mature players (over 35) the opportunity to participate in our great game of Australian Rules Football and to compete with similarly aged players in a safe, well organised and enjoyable atmosphere. Clubs exist throughout the Victorian metropolitan area playing every second Sunday during the season, with most clubs training on Wednesday evenings. The fortnightly draw allows for plenty of recovery time whilst allowing players and families plenty of time to themselves.

The opportunity to participate at a club level, to be competitive, maintain fitness and to above all enjoy your footy with your friends and family is the main motivation of the players in not only our competition but other states as well.

MATCH REPORTS
De La Salle v SKOB – Waverley Oval – Round 6 – Sunday 20 June

In a season of 9 games with 7 teams, 2 byes, COVID lockdowns each one
matters however there are the games in the season that mean
EVERYTHING. This was one of those games, De La Salle (DLS) our
arch-rivals in Masters at their home ground and with the finals
campaign in jeopardy if the W wasn’t earnt. There were some big INS
and a welcome bench for this game, Rolls Royce Simpson, Ferrari Dowd,
Snow Plough Schtick Holland, and Strongman Steans. The volunteers had
some big ins too, John Murray taking on his customer 45 different jobs
(#1 being the Lime Cordiale), Shoulders Shelley looking exceptional in
pink vest – you hotty 😊, and Tony Nanfra working the boundary. For
those that don’t know Tony he was the owner of a Video Ezy
Entertainment warehouse back in the day and a SKOB jumper sponsor.
Tony was known as the home entertainment king of the 90’s; he was to
home entertainment what Franco Cozzo was to Renaissance European
high-end furniture – GRAND SALE GRAND SALE TONY !! Anyways back to the
game, Coach SOC had the team frothing for the fight – themes of
protecting the ball carrier, talk and teamwork and that this was a
MUST WIN game. This was our strongest team of the year and being at
the ole Dairy Bell Oval we had a few flavours in the team with Double
Dutch in the backline, Ice Cold Caldow in the guts and the Juicy
Honeycomb Crunch combination of Big Rig Statue Sando and Philthy
Cameron in the forward line.

First quarter started with SKOB bolting out with Simpson and Dowd
weaving through DLS tackles showing why they are the ELITE runners in
the competition. They weren’t let down by the initial forward line
contests with Big Rig Sando crunching packs and kicking straight to
put us on the scoreboard first. Our rivals are no mugs and were up for
the challenge and responded quickly with an immediate goal against the
early play. The Ministry of Defence was standing tall as Snow Plough
was doing his best impersonation of Alex Keath shutting down DLS’ main
goal kicker and using his little bro Gerry Holland to provide the run
out of the back half. The backline was funnelling a lot of play
through the wings and the Muztech was all over it like Stereosonic
2015 – bumbags and lollipops buzzing around at every contest.  The mid
to forward chains were working, Shatman Shannon like a gazelle
covering the expanses of Waverley Oval and SKOB were getting plenty of
looks at goals however we were wasteful in front of the sticks
combined with some desperation from the DLS backline. SKOB was not
short of effort with 7 effort Steans throwing himself at every
contest, rekindling memories of ‘Never Forget Shane Biggs’ in the 2016
AFL grand final. Unfortunately, a late lapse in concentration and some
straight kicking from the home team resulted in a major. At the first
change SKOB were down by 3 points, the pleasing thing was SKOB had the
run of play they just need to lower the eyes and look for the best
option streaming forward.

The second term was a different tale as SKOB were beaten around the
contest and it was up to the Ministry of Defence to keep the borders
closed, Shark aka Shibba was putting the clamp on DLS’ gun Snoopaloop,
and this was stopping some of DLS’ flow. It was like putting a finger
in a dam wall as the midfielders for DLS were spreading out of the
contest and setting up their forwards. Speedy Gonzalez Landers was
working well with the Dutch Enforcers and Head Minister P Money to
prevent further stemming. Landers and Patty Boyle were linking well
during the quarter to provide rebound and quick attack, and this
resulted in a clever running goal from bumbags Muztech. Razor Ray
Short was inspiring his teammates with his usual grunt around the
contests which was matched by the consistent punishing force of the
Krusherman Kruchel on the flanks. Unfortunately for SKOB the home team
were just finding the answers and space and couldn’t miss which
further frustrated Coach SOC. SKOB did well to slow the game down in
red time in the DLS forward line to stop the momentum. As the first
half ended SKOB was down by 2 goals with more scoring shots, and
plenty more run left for the second half.

The second half started with bodies flying everywhere as SKOB
attempted to wrestle back the lead with their trademark kamikaze hard
at it approach and linking run – Simpson and Dowd in the thick of it.
Andy Hii was do or die in his combative attack on the leather and this
was opening the space for the man known as the Smooth Operator with
the Detlef Schrempf haircut Stainless Steele – king of the fresh air
dusty fend-offs. This led to some clever passing to the Rolls Royce
Simpson steaming through the forward line to open up SKOB’s second
half account. The Potent Pies up forward Joyce and Sandford were
crushing packs with their solid contesting however SKOB couldn’t
capitalise whereas their counterparts were making the most of their
limited opportunities. The San Juan Salsa Sensation Ricky Martinez
Caldow was providing his usual brutal attack on the ball and was a
constant option that SKOB was failing to connect with. Spudhead
Ireland was covering the ground well on the wing and lifting the
pressure on the opposition leading to some rushed kicks that Snow
Plough Schtick was intercepting at will. Ring the Tilling and
Kostopulos were locking down their opponents to stop DLS rebounds and
lock the ball in the SKOB forward line. DLS just kept on pulling their
goals out of the dark corners of Waverley Oval and it seemed the game
was slipping away from SKOB’s white knuckled hopes. At the final
change SKOB was down by 20 points, the chips were down, and they
needed some fight to save their season.

At 3 quarter time Coach SOC inspired the team to ask for more from
each other, more run, more contests, and more urgency. We have the
talent and have had the play so let’s show it on the scoreboard, and
fore f’s sake use the corridor where Ice Cold Caldow won’t let you
down. The team was listening, and they had the legs to do it. The
fourth quarter began with the spiritual midfield leader Tommy too good
who continued his fine game with some Bradley like running all over
the ground. Simo was everywhere in the first 5 minutes and kicked the
first goal of the quarter to give SKOB hope they could do this. Any
DLS forward foray was shown with contempt by the Double Dutch Defence,
Snow Plough Schtick had been a thorn in DLS’ side all day. Joycey was
also taking some clever marks down back to show his skill at both ends
of the ground. All roads were leading through Dancin’ Rick who was
playing out of his skin in this purple patch of a quarter – there were
waves of SKOB’s running on top of their opponents. It was like SKOB
had cracked the code of the DLS defence, throwing some killer blows at
their fatigue opponent. This surge was flowing through to one forward
source – the dukish Big Rig Sando who was continually getting in front
and out marking his opponent. He couldn’t miss in the last quarter
with 2 majors to bring SKOB level with DLS with only a few minutes
left. The game was on tender hooks and the tension was building up as
the opposition were playing tempo footy to keep it out of hot hands of
SKOB. Strongman Steans kept on piling the pressure in the midfield and
this resulted in a spill of the ball, which Stainless pounced on with
his electric pace making his opponents look like stunned mullets and
then chipping a clever lofted 9 iron kick into the awaiting hands of
big hoof Shatman. The scene was set, SKOB up by a point with several
more scoring shots, was this lead enough with 2 minutes left? A sealer
was needed and with the season on the line, Shatman Maff Hoof Shannon
lined it up and kicked truly to give SKOB the buffer it needed. DLS
made one last push with their main playmaker Snoop taking a mark on
the forward flank unfortunately for him Sharknation had his measure
with a solid tackle to win the free kick. The siren went shortly after
a huge roar from the SKOB faithful. This win was momentous and the
best regular season Master’s win this scribe has been a part of. The
team song was belted out with abundance and euphoria as each person
involved from players to the volunteers knew how significant it was
and how it will set up the rest of the year for SKOB. The season is
back on track, with the upcoming 2 games at TH King so soak it up
lads, get the rigs back in a workable condition and see you on the
track next week to further sharpen up this bristling lethal machine we
all are a part of.

SKOB Masters 8.10. 58

DLS 8.3. 51

 

Goals: Simpson 3, Sandford 3, Murray 1, Shannon 1.

Best: P Holland, G Holland, Simpson, Dowd, Caldow, Stean, Makohon, Sandford.

Round 4 - SKOB v Scoresby Magpies – Saturday 22nd May

The end of one of the best weeks of the calendar (Beer Week) also
brought a ring a ding battle of two heavyweights of the BJS Men’s
Veteran Division – everyone’s favourite Masters team SKOB versus the
new kids on the block Scoresby Magpies. This game was a twilight game
at Scoresby home grounds and after the Scoresby seniors’ game against
traditional rivals Whitehorse. Their game was also a celebration of
one of their former players. So, the Scoresby locals were out and
about, especially at the Stud Road end, the Black Rat bourbons were
flowing, pants were optional and there were more bumbags than Muztech
and his mates at Stereosonic. It was a sight for sore eyes, skitmix!
SKOB entered the game severely undermanned with its key midfielders,
the Ferrari (Dowd), Rolls Royce (Simpson) and smart car with a V12
engine (Tigga) all in the showroom unavailable, as well as one of our
key backs Senior Minister of Defence for Holland Double Dutch Schticky
working a weekend shift at the family Glitter factory. We did have a
few ins, and this included the International Man of Mystery/Magnum PI
and recently appointed Czar of Cybersecurity Jesse “Magnificent”
Seven. We also introduced Chris “Reverse” Pyke for his first game in
the SKOB colours. Shark Libba aka Shibba the journo was also back from
his mountaineering exploits climbing peaks at Mount Feathertop. SKOB
had 1 available on the bench so a lot was being asked of the troops
however Coach SOC is a man with a plan and asked the guys to focus on
protecting your teammates (Sucos Marca), red time efforts and not
worrying about who isn’t playing let’s make the most of who is. Wise
words from a smart man, a multifaceted BEAST.

The game started at a breakneck speed with Ricky Martinez Caldow
bustling through the guts, the San Juan Salsa express was in full
flight mixing grace and quick feet with his usual brutal attack on the
pill. He was instrumental in setting up our first with a penetrating
punching kick to the Big Rig Sando whose dukes never let you down (he
will let you know about it too!). Sando finished the pack mark with a
straight kick for a great start for the away team. Scoresby were
looking to answer straight away however the backline was humming with
Shibba, P Money Mount and Glen ‘Ring the’ Till-ing locking down their
opponents as well as getting some run and carrying through the fat
side with Dr Phil Patty Boyle tearing down the wing. This SKOB surge
included the rover Lars Marca whose pins were pumping through the
packs and this led to another major with some smart crumbing from
Muztech and clever snap to finish off his great work. Lime Cordial
John Murray (muse for the Aussie band of the same name) was in
attendance and he was very happy with his son’s work. It wasn’t all
good news for SKOB with Jesse Magnum PI #7’s strings pinging more than
the Scoresby locals and he had to retire for the day leaving a big
hole in the SKOB forward line for the rest of proceedings.  The later
stages of the quarter were all Magpies as the home team were able to
break down space in the centre of the ground. Scoresby then spread and
delivered with precision into their forward line to add a few goals in
red time, against Beast Mode SOC’s instructions. This resulted in the
home team being ahead by 2 goals at the first change.

The second quarter began with the same level of dash and when it comes
to pulsating pace SKOB have the best in the business with Streaking
Steve Landers who was tearing up the wing, closing opposition space.
His chase down from 50 metres away was simply too quick for Master’s
level, this was the highlight of the quarter for SKOB. This quarter
was mainly a battle of attrition as Scoresby’s launches from their
backline through the guts were thwarted by the Flying Dutchman Outcome
Holland and his aerial work, obviously his strings are getting
stronger throughout the season. Similarly, Andy Hii was getting on top
of his opponent with his trademark competitiveness and grunt, being an
absolute menace to opposition forwards. This was inspiring the
midfield with Krusherman Kruchel putting his head over the melon and
bringing his usual heat to the cold night in the Dandenongs. Sadly,
the consistent pressure from the home team spilled over in the later
stages of the half as they dominated with a couple of red time (again
– there is a theme here) goals to further frustrate coach SOC and the
SKOB army. This was despite the efforts of the human wrecking ball aka
‘Miley Cyrus’ Phil Cameron who was putting on some solid tackles and
filling up the 1% stat sheet. He was taking a few leaves out of the
Caldow book of crunch work and Razor Ray who was also contesting
fiercely in the ruck. Score at the main break, Magpies by 5 goals.

Half time was a bit of soul searching over a couple of cordials
(classic work John Murray on your return). Coach SOC knew he had only
16 fit chargers for the game, so he implored the team to chip it
around and slow the pace down and stop the home team’s run.

The second half was an all-out procession from Scoresby and in the
journo’s opinion our most sub-par quarter of the year. It was one way
traffic as despite the best efforts of Caldow and Short in the middle
the home team were doing what they liked. The Magpies couldn’t miss,
and their goal umpire was getting a sore neck from it sailing over his
head on a consistent basis. SKOB began to turn the tide midway through
the quarter as Maff Shannon began to assert himself up forward
snagging a major with his trademark big hoof. Similarly, Sucos Marca
was zipping around the wings pivoting through outstretched opposition
and Potatoes Kelly was putting his body on the line on the forward
flank. Unfortunately, this pressure was absorbed and then repealed
with constant springboards from defence for Scoresby. P Money Mount
was doing his best impersonation of Jacob Weitering with some solid
body work and golden fisting to stem the flow, but it was like putting
a thumb in the dam walls breaking. This quarter reminded the journo of
the latest banger from the Black Keys ‘Sad Days, Lonely Nights’. It
felt like a lonely quarter for SKOB hearts with not much joy with the
wave of Magpies running unchecked throughout the ground. The quarter
ended with Scoresby 10 goals ahead.

Beast mode SOC addressed the team at the last change lifting the
team’s spirits with a goal to see who can launch the biggest torpedo,
appealing them to have some fun, pull the ears back and give it a
red-hot crack. The San Juan strongman Caldow needs no motivation in
this space, it’s the bearded man’s wheelhouse and he capped off a
great personal game with his kamikaze work in, around and amongst the
contest. There was a definite lift in intensity, and it showed the
pride and courage in the team as we outran and outhustled the
opposition. This was even more impressive given they had 8 on their
bench compared to the casualties SKOB were carrying. Scoresby players
were cramping up – showing some cracks in their armour and a silver
lining in the dark clouds from the evening. SKOB conceded a couple of
late goals however they improved their output in the last quarter to
stop the bleeding. As the final siren sounded the home team registered
a 12-goal win.

The focus is now on getting our season on track after a couple of
losses and needing to get some cattle back on the park against our
next game in Coldstream. Shark and Shtick Dutch will have to shelve
their man doggies love to shutdown Coldstream royalty Lindsay Gilbee
up forward for the stream. Let’s get the numbers out on the track
(once the lockdown is lifted), get some contesting work in the mix so
we can build back into the hard at it, intense and manic SKOB Masters
outfit that has been so successful for the last few seasons.

Have as good a weekend as you can have in lockdown

GO SKOB

And GO DOGS .. WOOF WOOF WOOF

Round 1 - SKOB Masters v South Croydon Bulldogs – Sunday 11 April

TH King welcomed the SKOB Masters in their first hit out in 18 months in a new revamped competition the BJS Men’s Veteran Division 1 against new rivals South Croydon Bulldogs. Not sure what the BJS stands for, I’ll leave that up to your interpretation. Firstly, a big congratulations to Patty Mount, Ray Short and other SKOBBERS who were responsible for setting up this season. This required almost as much diplomacy and negotiations as the Middle East peace process. The recruiting drive of 2021 brought some big names to Masters footy: Chris ‘Krusherman’ Kuchel, Johnny ‘Kratos’ Kostopulos, Glenn ‘Big Rig’ Sandford, Joe ‘Potatoes’ Kelly, ‘Stainless’ Steele Sexton and some other guy that can play apparently Bustling Ben Dowd. Coach SOC had also done some recruiting getting Ben ‘Snoozer Shoulders’ Shelley running the messages, Snoozer was looking strapping in the pink vest and ready to earn the post-match beers. SOC had completed his reconnaissance on the bulldogs, and they were young, fit, and ready to snap at our heels. SKOB were keen to get the WD40 out get the rust off the shackles and start their premiership defence in a commanding manner.

 

The first quarter started with a Rampaging Ray Short controlling the centre tap work with some handy running mates in Tommy Simpson and Dowdy doing as they liked through the centre square. SKOB had the breeze, and the Simo & Dowd combination were waxing lyrically running through the lines of Bulldog defenders with ease. The benefit of this work was Shorty who marked strongly in the forward line and opened our account for the year kicking truly. Dancing Rick was also bursting through the centre with his glorious flowing beard bringing back images of Courtney Dempsey’s prolific facial features, looking juicy Ricky Martinez. The forward line was up and about with the mosquito fleet Lars Marca and Muztech buzzing around at the feet of Big Rig Glenn and his resulted in Lars snapping through the big sticks. The backline was playing tight with Landers getting in front of everything and rebounding through the centre. Dr Phil Boyle was putting his nut over the ball and unfortunately copped an errant elbow to rule him out for the game. Chuck Flipper was ruling the wing in front of his cheer squad and saluted with a nice running goal to cap off some tough in and under work from Kratospulos. The bulldogs were lucky to get a goal against the flow of play otherwise it was SKOB dominance for most of the quarter. Score at the first change SKOB up by 2 goals.

 

Coach SOC emphasised keeping it simple against the breeze, lowering your eyes and body behind the footy. Krusherman was all over this like a big kid on a cupcake hitting the packs hard so the ball could spill out to the running midfield brigade Simo & Dowdy who seemed to be bringing their own footy to the game. Stainless was getting in on the act cutting lines and even fending off imaginary opponents like he was in the paint in his NBA days at the Sonics – love your work Detlef Schrempf.  Landers continued his solid work down back floating across the half back flank and providing great run and was ably supported by Shark and Dutch Snr Paul Holland who were covering the turf like gazelles.  Highlight of the quarter was Landers cutting off another Bulldog forward foray which led to a great team running goal through the GUTS and a clinical finish from Muztech, snapping from the pocket. Bulldogs had the run of play in the last half of the quarter but were constantly denied by the Double Dutch brigade Gerard and Paul – all over their opponents like glitter at prom night. Fabulous Phil was locking it down in defence ensuring SKOB didn’t concede any late goals before the main break. Score at half time was SKOB increasing their lead to 3 goals.

 

The second half started with triple threats of Dowd, Simpson and Caldow continuing to run amok through the centre square. This led to the juicy Sucos Marca slicing through dog defenders creating an easy running goal with some brother love for Lars, Frank the Tank would be proud of the is Sherrin is caring of the footy. SKOB were running in waves and twinkle toes Morley was spinning on a dime setting up Benny D in the open spaces where his blinding pace left bulldogs chasing his tail with a dominant running goal. Jake Ireland was providing dash off the bench and reeling in loose balls off the wing. The men’s department down back were as stringent as a vaccine rollout denying space for their opponents and keeping a clean sheet for the quarter. Potatoes Kelly was a rock down back, ably supporting The Outcome Holland whose strings were on tender hooks limiting his usual run and carry. SKOB ended the quarter 5 goals ahead.

 

The last quarter was about maintaining the rage and Krusherman was giving the dogs nothing with his 2nd 3rd and 4th efforts allowing Sucos Marca and Steele to sweep across the contests to provide outside run and spread. This led to Razor Ray’s third goal for the game with another strong mark and goal after being set up with a precise pass from Chucky. Bulldogs answered straight away, and the last quarter was more of an arm wrestle. Big Rig Sandford added his own sausage roll on debut with some solid duke work and accurate kicking showing off his bag of tricks. The SKOB rust was starting to show as their bodies were tiring, lucky Shoulders had the H20 and messages flowing to keep the charges fresh in the last stanza. Unluckily South Croydon snapped a sharp goal just before the siren to bring the last quarter to a close. SKOB running out winners by 5 goals in a tough but comfortable first up win. Coach SOC was happy with the consistent four quarter performance which puts us in good stead for the following game’s showdown with our Masters nemesis De La Salle and a rematch of our 2019 Grand Final classic. Get ready for Patty Mount’s unveiling of the premiership flag in the Twilight game after the Seniors.

 

Scores: SKOB 9.7 – 61 South Croydon 4.7 - 31

Goals: Short 3, N Marchesani 2, Sandford, Dowd, Murray, Filipovic.

Best: Dowd, Simpson, Short, Caldow, Landers, Kuchel, Sandford

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2021 PLAYING DATES

Coming soon.

COACH

2019 SKOB Masters premiership assistant coach and club legend Stephen “SOC” O’Connor will step up and take the reins as SKOB Masters coach this season and he will be very ably assisted by 2019 SKOB Masters premiership coach Damien "Rock" Ryan. It’s great to have the dynamic duo back together to defend the title.

 

PRE-SEASON TRAINING

SKOB Masters’ official pre-season training:

When: Monday March 26th - and every second Monday afterwards

Time: 6:30pm for a 6:45pm start

Where: St Kevin’s College Tooronga playing fields

Runners only! No footy boots! 

 

SEASON LAUNCH

TBA

 

RECRUITMENT

New recruits actively encouraged & more than welcome, so please spread the word.

Anyone born at any time in 1986 or earlier is eligible to play (eg: if you are currently 34 but turning 35 on or before 31 December 2021 then you are good to go).  

The 2021 fixture is almost finalised and should be on our website shortly

Any queries on training, player registration or the season ahead please feel free to drop us a line at skobmasters@outlook.com  

 

REGISTRATION

Details on how to register for the Masters can be found by emailing skobmasters@outlook.com